I alluded to this personal hygiene disaster in a previous post, so I figured I should share the entire story. A few weeks ago, I woke up with my right eye sealed shut with a crusty yellow discharge. I hopped in the shower, scrubbed my face clean and went to work. Although my eye was itchy and bloodshot, I simply attributed it to some seasonal allergies.

As soon as I awoke the next morning, I KNEW something was seriously wrong. I struggled to open my eyes, and could feel and smell a thick crust on my eyes and cheeks. I stumbled towards the bathroom mirror and was shocked, horrified, and embarrassed. I HAD PINK EYE. There was NO WAY I could pull this off at work. My colleagues would either figure out that I had pink eye or would assume that I came to work under the influence…both completely unacceptable options for an university administrator.

I washed my hands every time I used the restroom and wasn’t one to haphazardly shake hands with people. My contact with young children was pretty minimal and I wiped down my desk, keyboard, and mouse at least once a week. If I took all of these proactive measures, how did this happen? How did I get my own or someone else’s shit in my eye!? As I did a mental rundown of my day and nights, I suddenly realized that there was a part of nightly routine that likely resulted in my current demise…it was the late night diaper change.

Here’s how it normally happened:

1. I’m fast asleep.
2. My wife pokes/pushes me to check on our crying daughter.
3. I wake up and stumble down the hallway to reach our daughter’s room.
4. I change her diaper, give her a bottle, and tuck her back into the crib.

It got to the point where I was able to do this routine in under 5 minutes. More often than not, I’d run into a poop filled diaper as well. It was dark, I was tired, and I rarely washed my hands unless I knew I got some stuff on my hands…and I paid dearly for this.

After swallowing my pride, I went to a doctor. After being lectured about personal hygiene for about 15 minutes, I was given eye drops and sent on my way.

In closing, Smokey would remind everyone that “Only you can prevent pink eye!”