Thanks to movies and romantic novels, we assume that love will come easily and that passion will never go away. And if it does begin to diminish, “it must not be the right relationship” or “it wasn’t meant to be”. Ladies and Gents, that’s rubbish. It takes an enormous amount of work to find the perfect partner and it is even harder to make the relationship grow. Love and marriage is an active process!

Over the years, I’ve compiled a list of questions that will help you quickly and easily decide if your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancée is “marriage material” and worth your time and effort. Please email me for the full list. (Legal Notice: These are only my opinions and I assume no responsibility for the results of your actions related to this post) And YES, my wife and I answered these questions as well – which may be one of the many reasons as to why we have such a strong relationship.

Even though these questions were created to quickly weed out potential partners, you can also use this with your current partner/spouse to break down boundaries and to forge a stronger connection– their answers may also surprise you. You can also learn a great deal by nonverbal cues; the look on their face, the movement of hands, or even the turn of a head – so pay attention! The goal is to create a greater awareness of your partner and each other through the use of questions that reveal more than the superficial conversations that happen throughout the day.

A word of caution: This is not an interrogation – this is a two way conversation. You should slowly work through these questions over the course of days or weeks. Good Luck!

1. What is your full name and how did you get it?
2. What is the title of the last book you read?
3. When you think of love, what comes to mind first?
4. What is your ideal job?
5. What do you think about when you fall asleep?
6. What is your most memorable elementary school experience?
7. What did your childhood smell like?
8. What is the greatest value that guides your life?
9. Who or what has had the biggest influence on your life?
10. What historical time period would you like to live in?
11. If you could write a book about anything, what would it be about?
12. What is the last thing you like to hear at night?
13. What do you want to be doing 10 years from now?
14. If you only had one sense, what would it be?
15. For what do you think you would lay down your life?
16. What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?
17. Select a word that best describes your life at this moment.
18. What gives you the most security?
19. What is the best advice you have ever received?
20. What is the worst thing parents can do to their children?
21. What is your greatest fear?
22. What one day in your life would you like to live over?
23.  What event in the last year stands out most in your mind?
24. What is the last thing you would give up?
25. When do you feel most free?

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
―   C.G. Jung